For The Mudroom
Can you belong too much? In the past I would bounce around from one friend group to another trying to spend time with everyone. From one hobby or sport to another. I didn’t bounce around because I felt like I didn’t fit in though; I did it because I felt like I belonged with all these things and these people. My husband can attest to my willingness to get involved with many things at once, saying yes when everyone around me thinks I should be saying NO! I used to think this was because I was looking for that ‘it’ thing for me. The one thing I could do better than any other. It would stand out for me, marking my rise to the top, and then I would find it. That thing to claim as my own.
I don’t have this issue only with people, activities and groups either. I feel like I belong in places as well. How can I feel at peace and secure in so many places? Isn’t that weird? I feel a sense of belonging when I am at home in the house I own and share with my husband, children and small zoo. Yet, I feel that same sense when I am at my parents’ house. Both houses feel the same to me. I know I belong in both places. I’ve often yearned for a place where I would feel complete. A physical place I could be in and be wholly me. I thought that it would feel different, somehow set apart from how I felt at other places. If I felt like I belonged at a multitude of different places, surely, I hadn’t found the one place I was supposed to be? The placed I belonged over all others….